Correct Her, or Correct Your Past Self? 🪞🧠

We often think we’re trying to help someone else.

But sometimes, the truth runs deeper than that.

There was someone I once met — brief encounter, lasting impact.

They were going through a turbulent time, and I could see the patterns clearly.

Not because I was wiser, but because I had lived through the same chaos and made it through the other side.

I recognised the behaviours. The coping. The blind spots.

And so, I stayed calm. I didn’t correct them, didn’t intervene.

I told myself there was time — that transformation doesn’t need to be forced.

But after we drifted apart, something didn’t sit right.

I found myself still trying to help.

Not by reaching out directly, but by sharing reflections — public posts, universal truths, hoping the messages would somehow find their way.

And I thought I was doing it out of compassion.

To show a way out.

To spare them the long, painful path I had walked — to help them reclaim peace more swiftly, and be free from what was holding them back.

I thought I could carry part of their burden, and leave them lighter.

But what I didn’t realise was this:

I was still holding on to a version of them that I wanted to see.

A version I believed they could become — if only they let go, if only they saw.

The expectation wasn’t for them to complete my story…

It was for them to awaken to their own.

To grow into a fuller version of themselves.

To release what no longer served them.

To have the life they truly wanted — and maybe couldn’t yet see.

And beneath that well-meaning desire… was my own timeline.

My own urgency.

I didn’t respect the natural timing of change.

I tried to accelerate the process. To shape their path in the way I believed was best.

What I saw as guidance was still tangled with my own will —

A hidden impatience. A silent need to make things right, now.

Helping others is powerful — but only when it’s rooted in respect.

Not just for who they are, but for when they’re ready.

Not just for what they could become, but for the road they choose to walk.

So here’s a sharper question:

When you’re guiding someone…

are you doing it for them?

Or are you still trying to carry a weight that was never yours to hold?