Are You Trying to Succeed or Prove You Can't? 💭
I've been spending over 40 hours a week on a side project ⚡️ I wake up in the middle of the night with new ideas, eager to try them out. I've sacrificed gym classes I genuinely enjoyed, social time, proper sleep. I've had to deliberately say no to things I love to prioritize this one thing 🎯
When my proof of concepts fail—and they have failed, with serious flaws—I don't announce it to anyone 🤐 Instead, I process what went wrong, gather information from the failure, and approach the next attempt as a more knowledgeable version of myself. In one month alone, I speed-read three audiobooks just to gain beginner insights for what I'm building 📚 I listen to interviews with successful professionals, take online courses, absorb everything I can.
It startled me when I checked my timesheet and realized this pattern 💡 Even when 20+ hours of work gets scrapped because of a critical flaw, even when I question whether the sacrifice is worth it, I'm still genuinely trying. My brain is still optimizing and planning the next building session as I fall asleep 🧠
But I've seen the opposite pattern too. The person who tries three methods, then broadcasts to everyone how hard they tried, how many approaches they attempted, but somehow it just didn't work for them 📢 They want you to see their effort, to witness their struggle, to confirm that they're the special unlucky one for whom this particular thing simply won't work.
The difference isn't in the number of attempts or even the effort expended. The difference is in the underlying intention ❗️ One person is genuinely problem-solving. The other is unconsciously building a case.
When you fail at something, what are you actually doing in that moment? 🤔 Are you studying what went wrong so you can adjust your approach? Or are you cataloging another piece of proof that this just doesn't work for you?
Are you collecting evidence that it won't work for you, or collecting information to make it work? 🔍
When someone learns about the Law of Attraction for the first time, person A might visualize $10,000 in their account 💰 Person B jumps straight to visualizing a million dollars 💸 I'm not saying B can't hit it, but they're more likely trying to prove the law wrong—to save themselves the pain of actually working toward something achievable.
Person A is sincerely testing something new to see if it might work for them ✨ Person B is sincerely putting effort into proving something doesn't work for them 🚫
If you think you genuinely want something, look for the underlying pattern. Do you try three times with an audience, or ten times in private? 👀 When you fail, do you gather evidence of why you're unlucky, or information for your next attempt?
One focuses on collecting proof of their special misfortune 😔 The other focuses on collecting insights to improve their approach 📈
The cost of the first pattern? You'll find yourself stuck in the same situation eternally, or watching the same scenarios repeat over and over again, until you recognize what you're actually doing 🔄
But here's what I've learned: When you catch yourself performing effort instead of making genuine effort, that's actually step one 🚶♀️ You've become aware of your own behavior. That's huge.
Step two is accepting the fact that you're performing—not judging it, not fighting it, just seeing it clearly 👁️
Only then can you move to step three: accepting that maybe what you're trying to do isn't something you're genuinely interested in. Maybe it doesn't align with who you actually are 🎭
This realization might sting a little 💔 You might have had a certain perception of yourself, a story about who you thought you were or should be.
But here's the thing—accept who you are at your core, exactly as you are right now 🔑
From that honest foundation, you have real choices. Will you keep performing your struggle for others? Will you approach it with genuine effort? Or will you simply let it go and move toward something that actually lights you up? 🛤️
You don't have to perform your life for others 🎪 What you pursue—and how honestly you pursue it—that's entirely up to you 💯