🤔 Are You Speaking to Connect, or to Perform?

Sometimes when we speak, we’re not really trying to connect.

We’re trying to perform.

• Perform competence.

• Perform importance.

• Perform likeability.

• Perform being the one with the best story in the room.

Maybe we don’t even realise it 🌿

🎯 How to Tell the Difference

When you’re speaking to connect, you feel:

• Present, curious, open

• Interested in how the other person feels

• Willing to adjust or pause when you sense they’re not engaged

When you’re speaking to perform, you might:

• Feel the urge to impress or dominate the conversation

• Get slightly agitated when people don’t seem “interested enough”

• Keep talking even when the energy in the room has clearly shifted

🌱 It’s Not About Blame

Performing isn’t evil.

It’s often rooted in a deep, human longing:

to be seen, valued, heard.

But if you slow down just a little —

you’ll notice the moment your energy shifts

from connection

to performance.

And in that moment, you can choose again 🔁

🕊️ Give It a Try

The next time you speak with someone, notice:

• Are you listening as much as you’re sharing?

• Are you genuinely curious about their world too?

• Are you creating space for both stories to exist?

Connection isn’t something you perform.

It’s something you build — together.

It grows when you care not just about being heard, but also about hearing.

It deepens when the conversation becomes a shared space, not a stage.

Not a spotlight.

Not a monologue.

Just two people, meeting in real time.

And choosing to stay present for each other 🌿